I feel guilty for smiling everytime I hear your name, for keeping my phone near and hoping to get a message from you, for looking for your name the first thing I do everytime I open my laptop, I feel very guilty.
In the future, I want your name to be meaningless like everybody else, I want to be able to throw my phone somewhere and ignore the whole world like how I always did, I want to be able to not talk to you for days. I know I can do it :D I've been having progress, I think about you less and less everyday, I stopped wondering about what you're doing now, and I barely remember how you sound like.
But.... for now, I like the mention of your name, I want to keep my phone close and wait for messages that will never come and I like talking to you as much as I can.
It's bittersweet... but bitter things are good for health. :D